I honestly wasn't feeling it, but you get my 3 cause I can hear the work you put in.
it could stand to be a little more live, and TG gave the biggest advice I could have given when he said to lay the drums on top and mix the sample in.
Drums make Hip Hop come alive! So let them do their work. As you go on you'll learn your own style of mixing things in. What instruments you want to speak loudest, what subtleties you want to express throughout your shit, etc.
The greatest advice I could give is to never stop. and make sure you explore different styles! Try to remake your favorite beat by your favorite artist or something to that effect, and you'll learn a lot if you look and study closely enough. Can't wait to see what you do next man